Confessions of a repentant mind

There is a final exam due tomorrow, and as always as I had started studying at the last possible moment, and the very tight schedule looked like this:

11-12: BRAC + MELA & BASC + BDS
12-1: Article SME 3 & Tech 1
1-2: Conflict Management
2-3: Theories: psycho, socio & economic

After reaching the optimum level, there was a sudden halt. Jhijhi( my fuppi) called from Iran. Then as I sat to study again, and had just began to accelerate...when the sms came. Nothing unusual, its just 12:29 am, I am to finish studying the first article within one minute….but for some reason, the sms ringer gave me an eerie feeling. For a second, I thought lets not take a look at the sms now. Then I thought maybe, it’s some rescheduling of tomorrows program, and decided to check it.

Early in the afternoon today, some of us were deciding to pay a visit to one of our classmate’s father. Ever since I knew Zihan, her father has been suffering from kidney problems and diabetes. Today her father was supposed to undergo a leg amputation, due to development of gangrene. For some reasons, later me and Saba stepped back, and decided to delay our visit by one day. And at 12:30 am tonight, I got the sms that Zihans father passed away.
This is not the first time this has happened. Sometime, around October last year, the same incident had taken place. I decided to pay a visit to one of my very good friend’s father at hospital, and later postponed the program, just to find that there was no chance of meeting him again. Had I not decided only today that I would pay a visit, and later cancelled, then it would have effected me in a different manner.

I learn today, that I never learn from my past experiences. And hence I live with so many ‘if and only if’s .

could or should have been a comment

i have tried to leave a msg with loneranger, but his 'leave comment' option seems to be disabled. by the way its great to see people outside my friends circle here. thanks to all of you!!!

getting to the point of loneranger: it is not and definitely not our religion, rather it is misinterpretation and ignorance about the religion. these create a misconception that helps the opinionleaders to utilise the religion in a manner which wud make them more powerful.

if something of this sort would have occured in the west, then it would have recieved so much exposure, that people, in the future, wud refrain themselves from such acts.

because the social atmosphere here is such, that these things usually dont leak out or get a chance to come into the limelight, they keep reoccuring, and people get the guts to do so, knowing that they can get away with it.

but i dont exactly blame it on the social atmosphere either. behind social atmosphere there lies economy, education, psychology, culture, values, norms, power politics....and a hell lot of things.

going back to religion: religion, i personally think promotes peace, brotherhood, respect, perseverance and things that we expect from a rational person. there is no place for such brutal behavior, either in Islam, or in any other religion.
Mr. Loneranger.....being a broadcast journalist, its your duty to spread truth and knowledge. i wonder how a person with such misconception is able to do such a responsible job!!!

maybe this shud have been in the comment section of the previous writing, but it was getting so huge, so i thought i wud create a new blog instead

helpless

few days back i was with my friends, and this topic of mukhtaran mai came up. i was shocked when i heard it.

loveless love-making sounds sick and disgusting to me....and this thing here is so much more than that. not rape, not even gang-rape, but a lot more to it: gang-rape in the front of whole village.and what was this poor ladies fault? she had plead to the chief of the panchayat not to punish her brother for being seen with a girl of higher clan!

after hearing tit-bits, i came home and read the story. i could do nothing more than clutch my fist, and grit my teeth and moments later i closed my eyes,and let out a breathe of frustation.

frustration of being one of the more vulnerable sexes.
frustration of being so incapable.
frustration of being so unable.

what more can i do other than sit in bangladesh and empathize with a lady in pakistan...because we share the same gender and same fears!


while writing this blog, i remembered a little conversation with one of my friends at school. she had asked many girls, and found out that every single one had been molested when they were child.

Feedback

this is one of my friends reaction to the previous blog named 'emni i'.I took time to put in the symbol of the emoticons cos i thought they depict the reactions better

® says:
tor blog ta besh interesting...check kori majhe majhe
e mone joton kore bifol premer bij bunechey says:
so nice of you ;;)
e mone joton kore bifol premer bij bunechey says:
feel free to leave comments :P
® says:
koi?
e mone joton kore bifol premer bij bunechey says:
okhane acheyto............'post comments'
® says:
oppssss :S kheal kori nai
® says:
tobe amar comment ta i guess public forum e kora jabe na
® says:
:)
e mone joton kore bifol premer bij bunechey says:
tahoole ekhanei kor
® says:
amar comment ta is more like a jhari
e mone joton kore bifol premer bij bunechey says:
:D
e mone joton kore bifol premer bij bunechey says:
de de no prob :P
e mone joton kore bifol premer bij bunechey says:
i mean okhane de :P
® says:
so oita oikhane korle shobai bolbe eishob ki
e mone joton kore bifol premer bij bunechey says:
are dhuut
e mone joton kore bifol premer bij bunechey says:
koyjoni baa dhuke okhane :P
e mone joton kore bifol premer bij bunechey says:
aar amar apotti na thakle onno karo apotti te ki ashey jay :P
® says:
na thak
e mone joton kore bifol premer bij bunechey says:
accha baba thaklo :P
e mone joton kore bifol premer bij bunechey says:
onek meyelipona hoise :P
e mone joton kore bifol premer bij bunechey says:
ebaar jhari ja deyar diye den :D
® says:
tui ekta jinish bol amake...
® says:
tui nijeke ki bhabish? beutiful naki intelligent?
e mone joton kore bifol premer bij bunechey says:
shit.............eta kon dike jacchey :S
e mone joton kore bifol premer bij bunechey says:
o accha
® says:
naki duitai? :P
e mone joton kore bifol premer bij bunechey says:
intelligient :D
e mone joton kore bifol premer bij bunechey says:
tahn most ppl of my age :D
® says:
lolll
® says:
dont play with ppls mind dear...u know u r both ... tor dukhkhobilash dekhle amar emon mejaj kharap hoy!! :@
e mone joton kore bifol premer bij bunechey says:
=))
e mone joton kore bifol premer bij bunechey says:
shuni aar ki ki dhukkhobilash dekhaisi :P
® says:
dhong kom korba
® says:
ebong ei dhorner post korba na
e mone joton kore bifol premer bij bunechey says:
ji huzur =))
® says:
jara tor ei thread porse tara na jani tore kemne chinta krose
e mone joton kore bifol premer bij bunechey says:
ami ekhon ekta kaaj korte pari :D
e mone joton kore bifol premer bij bunechey says:
amader ei log uthay dite pari blog e =))
® says:
if they can have a chance to see u taile they will be shocked
® says:
yah...why no
® says:
not
e mone joton kore bifol premer bij bunechey says:
thanks for the permission :D
® says:
tui khub i shundor ekta meye
® says:
eibhabei thak shobshomoy
® says:
eita nia dukhkho kora lagbe na
e mone joton kore bifol premer bij bunechey says:
okeys :P
e mone joton kore bifol premer bij bunechey says:
ami kintu sheyjonno beautiful bolini :P
e mone joton kore bifol premer bij bunechey says:
ami onno karone bolsi
® says:
tao abar public re nia
® says:
:D
e mone joton kore bifol premer bij bunechey says:
okhane option chilo beautiful and dumb type smthng
® says:
yah...thts becoz u never tried to do so
e mone joton kore bifol premer bij bunechey says:
amar kotha chilo je intelligient bole amake onekkaaj korte hoy
e mone joton kore bifol premer bij bunechey says:
i m tired of doing so
® says:
thts ur plus point
e mone joton kore bifol premer bij bunechey says:
i want to be dumb and beautiful for once :D
® says:
thak off jao...kaz koro...dumb and beutiful combination oshojjho ...
e mone joton kore bifol premer bij bunechey says:
amar pochondo :D shukher jibon :D
® says:
c*nd*m er add hoye gelo apu :D

emni i

onek din kichu post korina.....so thought onno jaygar post mere dei.
this is a debate i got into, at an online community. the topic was:

You are to be reincarnated. You are given two choices. Your first is to be a below average looking person with limited social skills. Your intelligence measures nothing short of genius and would allow you to pursue any field you choose. Your other option is to be a gorgeous social butterfly of below average intellect who is liked by everyone you meet (regardless of sex). Which do you choose? Which do you think is actually more advantageous in today's competitive society?

Given this forum's composition I have the feeling that intelligence will come out heavily weighted - but I encourage you to give it more than passing thought. Through my personal experiences so far in life, to be beautiful. it will be easy for you to be sexually gratified, you will have an active social life, and will generally be happy all around. I can't seem to come to a definite answer. Thoughts?

Posted by ayreena

definitely an intelligient person is more competitive for todays society. but i would go for beauty.

reason:

1. if i m beautiful, and at the same time liked by everyone around....it is very likely that i can find an intelligient person within the fan club, thru whom i can get my tasks done. (it feels great to be a free-rider)

over time i have learned, its brain that does and beauty that gets things done. i have done enuff this life........so next time...........

2. a dumb person is given less or no responsibilty.

3. if anything goes wrong, a dumb person is charged less that an intelligient person.

4. life for a dumb and beautiful person is easier, and simpler. their problems at the most reaches to 'Would Johny make a better husband than Sam?' or 'keno je shob chelera amari preme pore '

am too sleepy, cannt think of anything more at this moment

Posted by $HaDow Kid
dnt mind senora but sorry to say .. the things u said..to me it sounds more of being a looser!

Posted by ayreena

i feel more like a loser when i work for 5 days and nights, for getting a report done, and my beutiful classmate gets it done by her admirer

i feel more like a loser when i spend one hour understanding a formulae, and my beautiful classmate is coached the same formula in ten minutes by her admirer

i feel more like a loser when i cannot cross the one mark hurdle and get higher grades, and my beautiful classmate persuades the teacher to get 3 grace marks, and hence raise her grades

i feel like like a loser when my crush dates a more beautiful, but less intelligient girl.

yes, i understand, behind the success of the beauty is the brain.....but not always.i have seen what brains does in hours, beauty does in seconds. so i opt for beauty.

i hope i have made myself understood.