greatest stupid alive

i don't claim i m clever, but i do possess some intelligence. intelligence with a sheer of goodness. i tend to be honest, and something i really hate is doing things that i need to hide from others.

i tend to keep faith in others around me, and how can i even live without believing my near and dear ones. but it really hurts when i find someone not valuing my faith. i feel like the greatest stupid alive.

i ask myself, why do i put so much effort and try to be so true when i don't get the same thing in return? what more does it take to earn a persons truthfulness? why is there so much of 'cholona' in people around me? my world seems to fall apart every time i am cheated.

am i not important enough for people to care about my likings? do i not do enough to get some faith in return?

all i can do is sit helpless, ask myself a thousand similar question, and get no answer to comfort me.